


Random Rhink Smut

by lallyloo



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, College, Dirty Talk, Dominance, Drinking, Drunken Kissing, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Fancy Panties, Feelings, Humor, I'm dead move, Lace Panties, Long Underwear, M/M, Masturbation, Panties, Rimming, Smut, Wrestling, pinning, spitting, union suit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:34:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26935942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lallyloo/pseuds/lallyloo
Summary: Just random ficlets I've posted on tumblr. All separate stories. Mostly smut, often with feelings.
Relationships: Rhett McLaughlin/Link Neal
Comments: 19
Kudos: 65





	1. The Onesie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by GMMore #1857 (Which Candy Is Better Frozen?) when Link wore a thermal onesie and showed off his butt flap.
> 
> Originally posted on tumblr.

Rhett had his backpack on and was just about to leave for the day when he opened the office door just far enough to pop his head in.

“Hey man, I’m leavin’. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” Link turned in his chair as he said it, and Rhett was surprised to see him wearing the thermal onesie.

“You cold?”

Link smiled at him. “Nope.”

“Well what’re you wearin’ that for? You like it?”

Link looked down for a second, examining the fabric over his body. “Not especially.”

Rhett stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

“Then what’re you doing?”

Link reached up to flick a couple buttons, allowing some bare skin to peek through the opening in the fabric.

“You naked under there?”

“Maybe. You gonna do somethin’ about it?”

Rhett’s eyes grew wide. “Somethin’ like what?”

Link flicked a couple more buttons and Rhett could see chest hair and more bare skin.

“I saw you watchin’ in the monitor, man.” Link flicked another button. “You couldn’t take your eyes off me.”

“You were pullin’ open your butt flap.” Rhett said, searching for some sort of explanation as he stepped a little closer. “I mean, it was stupid lookin’.”

Link stood up suddenly, the oversized onesie hanging off his lithe figure.

“Yeah, it’s stupid,” Link agreed, speaking slowly as if he was considering his options. “Guess I could just take it off.”

“NO,” Rhett replied a little too eagerly, taking another step forward, “just.. hold on a second.”

He moved closer until he was in Link’s space and he reached for the onesie, fingering over the fabric.

It was stupid looking. It was way too big for Link and made him look like an oversized baby, but Rhett could also see the teasing peek of skin underneath and the bump of Link’s nipples under the fabric.

“You sure you’re not cold, Bo?” Rhett moved a hand over as he spoke, grazing over Link’s nipple.

Link took a breath. “Maybe I am. You should probably check the other one.”

Rhett’s eyebrows went up and a smirk moved over his mouth. He wasn’t quite sure what game they were playing but he moved his hand across Link’s chest to thumb over his other nipple. He could feel it, perky and hard even through the fabric.

“Cold too,” he said quietly.

“Maybe you should warm me up then.”

Rhett burst out laughing. “That’s so corny, man.”

“Yeah,” Link grinned, “it’s bad. But how else am I gonna get you to fuck me in this thing?”

Rhett’s laughter was cut short as a long exhale escaped him. “You serious?”

He slipped his hand down Link’s torso, thumbing over each button as he went, hovering his hand over Link’s cock, like a test.

“Because I will.”

“Yeah,” Link nodded, ignoring Rhet’s hand and half turning, jutting his ass out a little and pulling the fabric to show a teasing glimpse of skin. “I’m serious.”

Rhett let his backpack slide off his shoulder, falling forgotten to the floor behind him, and he took Link by the shoulders and turned him around. He smoothed his palm over the onesie opening, his dick already hard as he slipped two fingers under the fabric. He wasn’t sure why it was enticing. It was definitely stupid looking, but the idea of fucking Link in it was driving Rhett crazy. Something about Link’s skin under that onesie and the idea of shoving the fabric out of the way to get to him was sending an ache straight to Rhett’s cock.

Rhett could feel the warm softness of Link’s ass cheeks under the fabric as his fingers moved, and he took his exploration further, slipping his entire hand inside and cupping Link’s skin, squeezing the soft roundness of one cheek before moving to the other, gripping it and giving it a gentle shake in his hand. He knew Link’s body, he’d seen his ass a hundred times, but he’d never touched this way before.

“You’re soft back here, Bo.”

“Yeah I am,” Link replied, “you like it?”

Rhett let out a breathy laugh, “yeah.”

Link reached his hands back to grab the onesie, taking hold on either side, and Rhett watched as Link’s slim fingers pulled the fabric away to reveal smooth rounded bare skin. Rhett had imagined Link’s ass when he watched the monitor that morning, but seeing it there waiting to be fucked made Rhett’s cock leak.

Link bent forward a little, jutting his cheeks out a little further. “You wanna fuck it?”

Rhett let out a groan and moved his hand down to unzip his fly, pulling his jeans down enough to free himself. His cock fell hard and heavy as he reached around Link and yanked open Link’s desk drawer, rifling his hand through it blindly. “Where’s your lube?”

Link laughed. “How’d you know I had lube in my desk?”

“Dude, I know you” Rhett replied, still searching, “I know what you’re doin’ when you’re up in the loft alone.”

“Stop destroying my desk,” Link swatted Rhett’s hand away and after a second he produced a small bottle of lube, handing it to Rhett before leaning forward and placing his hands on his desk, bracing himself.

Rhett flipped the lube cap and dripped it over the cleft of Link’s ass. He used his hand to spread it further, sliding his fingers down between Link’s cheeks and over his hole. A soft gasp escaped Link as he did it, so Rhett did it again, testing, touching the slick opening. Link let out a breathy whine.

“That good?”

“Of course it’s good,” Link laughed quietly, “keep going.”

Rhett dripped some lube over his cock, slicking over it with his hand, and tossed the little bottle onto Link’s desk. He reached for Link’s skin again, smoothing over the roundness of one cheek, before moving his thumb and pushing against Link’s hole, sliding in slowly. He left his thumb there for a second, easy, and then hooked it around the loop of muscle and turned it, gently stretching Link there, getting him ready.

Link sighed, putting more weight onto his hands as he jutted his ass back further, pushing against Rhett’s hand. Rhett twisted his wrist slowly, preparing Link, trying to be patient as his cock dripped precum onto the floor.

Link seemed just as impatient, pushing back and letting out a soft whine, “Rhett, I’m ready, just do it.”

Rhett didn’t need to be told again. He withdrew his thumb and used one hand to grip Link’s ass and the other to grab hold of his cock, line it up, and slide in, slowly, so slowly. When he was halfway in Link’s body he slipped both hands to Link’s cheeks, gripping them tightly, fingers half under the fabric as he attempted to pull Link right out of the onesie.

Link pushed back against him suddenly, forcing him in further, and Rhett groaned as his hips hit Link’s ass cheeks, slapping against the soft flesh.

“I’m gonna move,” Link warned, and Rhett planted his feet as firmly as he could, gripping Link’s ass as Link rocked against him, fucking himself on Rhett’s cock.

“Oh jesus, Link,” Rhett groaned, trying to time his thrusting with Link’s movements, watching his cock slide in and out of Link’s body, perfectly framed by that stupid onesie flap.

Link reached back and took hold of Rhett’s hand, pulling it around himself and setting it over his dick, pressing Rhett’s fingers down against it. Rhett could feel it, rock hard under the fabric, swinging with their movements.

Rhett popped the last few buttons on the onesie, shoving his hand inside and taking hold of Link’s cock, trying his best to stroke it as he fucked Link’s ass.

“You really wanted this,” Rhett grunted as Link’s precum slid slick over his fingers.

Link let out a panting laugh. “I’m pretty sure you did,” he groaned in reply, “I saw your face this morning.”

Rhett laughed, fucking harder against Link, fingers still wrapped around his cock. “Maybe we both did.”

Link let out a panting “yeahh” in reply and fucked himself harder, riding Rhett’s cock until Rhett was sure he was going to lose it, his dick so hot, and squeezed so tight inside Link’s ass.

“Link,” he managed to grunt out in a warning, but Link wasn’t listening as he came over Rhett’s fingers, shooting over the floor under his desk.

The tension in Link’s body pushed Rhett over the edge and he shot wet and hot inside Link, fucking into the slickness until Link was collapsed over the desk, panting. Rhett pulled out, watching as his cum leaked from Link’s body, dripping onto the fabric of the onesie.

He placed his hand on Link’s ass, smoothing over it before giving him a teasing little spank.

“That what you wanted?”

Link laughed and stood up, turning around to face him. “That what you wanted?”

Rhett shrugged. He knew how transparent he was every time he stared into that monitor.

“Yeah,” he said with a smile.

Link nodded and smiled back at him. “Yeah, me too.”


	2. Spit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by GMM #1829 (Can Rhett Guess Every Brand Of Bean?) when Rhett said what he wanted most for his birthday was to hold Link down and spit on him..
> 
> Originally posted on tumblr.

Link had told Rhett to meet him at the creative house. It was a birthday surprise. He said Rhett should wear something comfortable but he didn’t tell him anything more than that.

Rhett doesn’t quite know what to expect, but requests for comfortable clothes usually mean something sexual. Still, he’s surprised when he walks in and finds Link wearing nothing but boxers, the loose cotton kind they wore in college, with his hair fluffed up. He looks young. And like he’s up to something.

It takes Rhett a minute to place the look and then he’s grinning. “You wanna wrestle?”

Link grins back and nods, “get your shirt off.”

Rhett quickly strips off his shirt and they’re starting, circling each other, both laughing until Rhett tackles him gently and Link lets himself go down. They know it’s a game. They’re older now and neither one wants to get hurt in the fall.

But once they’re on the floor Link gets a bit more aggressive, pushing back at Rhett, rolling out of his grip, pushing his hips up at him in an attempt to distract and escape, and Rhett is grabbing him, pulling him back when he gets away, dragging him along the floor, wrapping his arms and legs around him, rolling around until they’re both sweaty and out of breath.

When he’s finally got Link down on his stomach, and they both seem too exhausted to continue, Rhett flops on top of him and mutters “I’m dead.”

Link lets out a pained laugh underneath him and they stay there for a minute until Link is groaning, “can’t breathe.”

Rhett eases off, letting Link get his bearings for a moment and just as Link starts to turn over Rhett tackles him again, grabbing both arms and pinning them above Link’s head as he swings a leg over Link’s torso and traps him there.

“Rhett,” Link manages to gasp, still out of breath.

Rhett doesn’t reply, he just leans over Link and smiles.

“What’re you– ” Link starts and then he sees it.

A glob of spit is forming where Rhett’s lips are barely parted. Link can see him easing it out with his tongue, building up more saliva, and Link knows where this is going.

“No,” he laughs, and attempts to squirm away.

But Rhett continues, his eyebrows raised as he stares down at Link and threatens him with the spit glob. It’s dripping down now, a long trail that is heading straight for Link’s face.

“Rhett!”

Rhett inhales sharply and the spit returns to his mouth.

Link sighs with relief but that only seems to make Rhett more determined. He starts again, letting the spit trail down, down, down, almost to Link, so close, almost touching him, and Link is straining his neck, trying to get away from the line of saliva.

Finally Rhett sucks it back up and laughs. “You don’t like that, little brother?”

“Not on my face,” Link grunts, his head still turned away just in case Rhett starts again, “and I’m not your little brother.”

Rhett pauses for a second, still watching him. “That’s right,” he says slowly, “you’re not.”

He pushes against Link’s hands, pressing his fingers into the floor. “Leave them there.”

Link turns his face back to look at Rhett. “What?”

“I only got so many hands,” Rhett explains. “It’s my birthday, leave them there.”

So Link keeps his hands above his head, wrists crossed, pretending they’re still pinned. He’s always willing to indulge Rhett a bit on his birthday.

Rhett moves off him and places a hand on Link’s chest, holding him down as he continues moving, and he leans over Link’s boxers. He glances up at Link for a second, mischief on his face, and then he’s spitting again, dripping a long line down towards Link’s groin. It’s as if he’s trying to aim for the little gap in the fabric of Link’s boxers. The one Link pulls his dick out of to piss. Rhett is aiming for it, trying to spit into it, but he fails. The spit hits the fabric and sinks in. Rhett tries again and again until finally in frustration he just yanks down the front of Link’s boxers.

Link’s cock is already hard and it slaps back against his stomach for a second before standing up a bit from his body.

“That’s it,” Rhett mutters to himself and he’s leaning down and spitting over it, teasing a long trail, and then sucking the spit back into his mouth.

Link watches as Rhett continues, and he can’t help complaining, “that’s gross.”

Rhett just looks at him for a second and then he lets one long strand drip down and hit Link’s dick. It lands on the side and drips down, and Rhett is doing it again, building up saliva and letting it trail down onto Link’s straining cock. Rhett spits another, and another, coating Link’s dick in his saliva, and Link is so hard for it, unable to move and not allowed to touch himself, and he’s whining as he squirms on the floor, “please Rhett.”

But Rhett ignores him, continuing to spit long lines of saliva onto him until Link is completely coated and slippery, and a pool of spit is gathering on his belly. It’s not clear whether the long trail coming from the head of his cock is precum or spit, and Link is still writhing, his dick bobbing a bit as he moves, and he’s begging, “Rhett, touch me.”

Finally Rhett leans down and takes Link into his mouth, and he’s so slick with spit the head of his cock almost slips out from between Rhett’s lips. Rhett catches him again, taking him in, and Link is trying to rut his hips, lifting them up, but Rhett is still holding him down – one hand on his chest, one on his thigh.

Rhett’s mouth slides easily through the spit, and he blows Link until he’s almost on the edge, sucking and licking and teasing until he knows Link is just about to come, and then he eases off, pulling back and letting Link’s cock fall from his mouth with a slick pop.

Link groans a little, wanting Rhett’s mouth back on him, but Rhett is moving, swinging his leg over Link’s legs and sitting on him, pinning Link’s thighs with his own. He pulls down the front of his joggers and his dick lands hard and heavy against his thigh. Rhett grabs hold of himself before reaching for Link again and he joins their cocks together, rubbing himself against Link, gliding through the coating of spit still on him, and Link can only sigh “god, Rhett.. fuck..” as Rhett rubs against him.

Finally Rhett places both hands around them and jacks them together, sitting on Link harder so he can’t move, stroking Link’s overworked cock in time with his own and Link just stays where he is, so blissed-out he couldn’t move if he wanted to. His arms are spread out over his head, lax on the floor, and he’s moaning softly as Rhett strokes him.

Link looks up only once, when Rhett pauses, and Rhett opens his hands and tips his chin down to spit on them one more time, trailing a long line of saliva over both of them before taking them in hand again and stroking until Link is moaning and his cock pulses in Rhett’s hand, his cum flowing over Rhett’s fingers.

Rhett doesn’t let go, he continues stroking them even when Link’s cock starts to soften and he’s overstimulated and gasping because it’s too much, and then Rhett is coming, grunting with the effort and shooting his load on Link’s stomach.

Link’s hand comes down and lazily mixes Rhett’s cum with the saliva there, spreading it over himself and letting it drip down his sides and onto the floor.

Rhett slips his cock back into his joggers and then leans over Link, moving up to meet him face to face.

“Thanks.”

Link smiles lazily. “Happy birthday, Rhett.”

Rhett slumps over completely, crushing Link into the floor, getting them both coated in spit and jizz.

“I’m dead.”


	3. Limoncello

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For fanbabble's prompt: _RandL get drunk on limoncello at the creative house on a Thursday late night. Rhett starts talking to Link in an Italian accent. One minute Link is laughing harder than he has in months and the next he’s in Rhett’s lap with his shirt off._
> 
> Also inspired by GMMore #1869 (We Try to Translate Italian Slang)
> 
> I apologize to any Italians out there. I don't think you speak this way. This is intentionally ridiculous.
> 
> Originally posted on tumblr.

When Rhett first mentioned making his own limoncello, Link had mostly tuned him out. Rhett was constantly talking about cooking, or brewing, or smoking various meats – all so he could throw parties and impress people. The idea of infusing lemon peels in vodka for a month just to impress people seemed a bit stupid to Link.

But when Rhett showed up at the creative house on a Thursday night carrying a fresh bottle of limoncello, Link’s interest was finally piqued. It did look tasty. It was bright yellow and syrupy looking and when Rhett popped open the bottle, the lemon smell was so strong Link swore he could already taste it.

“MY LEEEMONCHELLAAA!” Rhett exclaimed as the scent filled the air. He sounded like an old Italian grandfather, and he brought the fingertips of his right hand up to his mouth to do a chef’s kiss. “IT SMELLA SO GOOD-AH!”

Link just stared at him with mild amusement.

“LINK-AH WOULDA YOU LIKE-AH SOME OF MY LEEEEEEMONCHELLAAAA.”

“Sure.”

“I WILL GETTA SOME FOR YOU,” Rhett pointed to the kitchen door, gesturing for Link to leave, “YOU-AH GO SIT-AH. I WILL BRING-AH IT TO YOU.”

“Do you want me to get some glasses?”

“NO-AH!” Rhett carried on with his ridiculous accent, “YOU GO. I SAID I WILL BRING-AH IT TO YOU. GO! GO!”

Link laughed as Rhett shooed him out of the kitchen.

By the time Rhett joined him, with the bottle resting in a bowl filled with ice, his over exaggerated accent had mellowed a little.

“You need-ah to keep it chilled-ah. Cold. Like, with-ah some ice!”

He handed Link a small stemmed glass and Link held it still while Rhett poured.

“You can put-ah some mint-ah leaves in too, but I did not think-ah you’d like-ah that.”

“I appreciate it,” Link replied, “but your Italian accent needs work.”

“You hate-ah my accent?” Rhett grinned at him, “Link-ah! You hurt-ah my heart with your words!”

Link rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t keep from smiling.

Rhett settled in beside him, poured his own glass, and they got to work.

They sipped the first glass slowly while brainstorming ideas together, and Rhett was too distracted by their latest Instagram sketch idea to continue with the accent.

By the second glass, Rhett had slipped back into his accent a little, just when he took a sip from his glass, “mmmm that’s a good-ah leeeeemonchellaaaa.”

A warm, comfortable feeling had settled over Link and he was leaning into Rhett a little more than usual. They were still writing, and their thoughts were flowing freely, but both suspected their ideas might seem less ingenious the following morning in the sober light of day.

They probably should’ve stopped at two glasses. By the end of their third glass, Rhett was stuck in a full-on Italian accent, and Link was giggling so much he was crying.

It was stupid, but the more Link drank the funnier Rhett seemed to get, and by the time he was finished his third glass he was pretty sure Rhett had never been so hilarious. Link couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed so much, and he could only stare at Rhett with fondness as Rhett overemphasized every word and movement. Rhett was laughing too, his eyes crinkling at the edges, and even though it was all ridiculous, Link couldn’t take his eyes off him.

Rhett kept it up, if only to keep Link laughing. He loved seeing Link laugh, it made him look younger and happier, and Rhett would do anything to keep him smiling.

“ARE YOU DRUNK-AH?”

“I think so,” Link grinned, “are you?”

“AH YES. I AM DRUNK-AH AS A SKUNK-AH.”

Link giggled in response.

“IT’S TOO BAD WE ARE DRUNK-A. I WOULD LIKE-AH TO TAKE-AH YOU FOR A RIDE-AH ON MY BEESEEKLETTA. “

“Your what?”

“MY BEE-SEE-KLETTA. ELECKTRIC A-BEE-SEE-KLETTA.”

“Your electric bicycle?” The force of Link’s laughter propelled him forward on the couch, and he wriggled next to Rhett, overcome with a fit of giggles.

“YES-AH.”

“You wanna take me for a ride on your electric bicycle?” Link was laughing so hard tears were coming to his eyes, and he wiped at them as he gasped for breath.

“AH YES. MY BEESEEKLETTA FOR YOU MY LINK-AH.”

“Rhett,” Link choked out, “you can take me for a ride anytime.”

Rhett gasped, feigning shock. “LINK-AH. SO FORWARD. I’D TAKE-AH YOU FOR A RIDE.”

“Would ya?” Link stared at him, almost like it was a dare between them, and neither one was quite sure what Rhett’s reply was because suddenly Link was tugging his shirt off, swinging a leg over Rhett’s thigh, and climbing onto his lap.

Rhett didn’t stop him, he just looked at Link with a surprised sense of awe.

“What’re you..?” Rhett attempted to ask, his accent suddenly gone, but he didn’t mean it. He wasn’t looking for an explanation, or for Link to stop.

Link answered by leaning in and kissing him.

Link’s mouth tasted of sugared lemons, and Rhett’s mind suddenly slipped back to warm summer days at the river, when they’d swim for hours and then sit on the banks and drink homemade lemonade. He remembered water droplets on Link’s sun-kissed skin and the sugary mustache over his top lip, and the one time Rhett couldn’t resist it any longer and he kissed Link, tasting the tart lemon on his tongue and the sweetness of his mouth.

Rhett swore he’d never tasted anything sweeter, but Link’s limoncello mouth came close.

“My leeemonchellaaa,” Rhett whispered in a weak attempt to get one last joke in.

“Oh god, Rhett,” Link laughed, tugging Rhett’s shirt up over his head, “just shut up and touch me.”

He claimed Rhett’s mouth again, sliding his tongue over Rhett’s lips, coaxing Rhett’s tongue to lick at his, effectively quieting any verbal response.

Rhett settled his hands on Link’s hips, touching hesitantly for a second before grabbing more forcefully, pressing hard, holding Link down and pushing up against him. Rhett’s cock swelled and he was overcome with the desire for Link to know it, he wanted Link to feel it as he thrust up.

Link rutted down into him, urgent and needy, letting Rhett know he felt him.

Rhett brought his mouth, still sticky with liqueur, down to Link’s chest and licked over a nipple, and Link groaned, grabbing Rhett’s hair and holding him there. Rhett licked and sucked until Link guided his head over to lick at the other side. Rhett took the hard bud in his mouth and flicked over it with his tongue until Link was groaning and writhing in his lap.

Link pushed him away gently, and Rhett watched as Link unzipped his grey jeans and took out his cock, giving himself a hard squeeze. The head of his cock was already wet and more precum pooled at the tip and dripped down his shaft.

“Look.” Link gave himself a slow stroke. “You got me so hard.”

Rhett watched Link touch himself, his hand sliding slick over his dick as he stared at Rhett, and then Rhett reached to pull him closer. Link arched his back as Rhett’s arms went around him, and Rhett slid a hand down the back of Link’s jeans, slipping past the waistband of Link’s boxer briefs. He touched the soft skin there, smoothing over Link’s ass before slipping a finger between his cheeks, and Link let out a shaky breath as Rhett’s fingers ghosted over his hole.

“Rhett, yeah..”

Link arched his back further, pushing his ass into Rhett’s hand, encouraging, wanting, begging Rhett to touch him there, _really touch him_ , more than just a tease.

Rhett pulled his hand out, slicked his middle finger with saliva and slipped his hand back down Link’s jeans, slicking over his hole and pushing in just a bit, just enough to make Link close his eyes and sigh “yeah, Rhett, finger me.”

Rhett’s cock strained under Link as he slid his finger in further, up to the second knuckle, and he eased it in and out a few times, gently finger-fucking Link’s hole.

“Aw fuck,” Link moaned, “just like that.”

Link leaned over suddenly, grabbing the limoncello and taking another drink directly from the bottle. Then he kissed Rhett again, sloppy, wet, sticky, sweet.

He tasted like tart lemons and sugar syrup and Rhett couldn’t get enough of him. He licked back into Link’s mouth, trying to find and savour every last taste of him as he teased him with his finger.

Link’s hand moved frantically over himself, his cock trapped between their bodies, as Rhett’s finger slid in to the last knuckle and he curved it a little, just enough to make Link moan again. Rhett continued, teasing, touching the heat inside Link’s body, easing in and out until Link was gasping against his mouth and coming between himself and Rhett, wet warmth pooling between them as he fucked himself on Rhett’s finger.

Rhett remained in awe about it all, easing his finger out carefully and watching as Link regained his bearings – his own sense of awe settling gently across his face as he looked at Rhett. Then he smiled, and he looked so beautiful Rhett couldn’t do anything but pull Link’s body up, leaning down to meet his cock and suck him in. Link gasped at the overstimulation, but he just watched as Rhett licked him clean.

When Rhett was finished, Link slid down Rhett’s body, trailing sticky kisses across Rhett’s chest and over his stomach, licking the last streaks of his own cum off Rhett’s belly until he was on the floor between Rhett’s thighs. Rhett’s cock was tenting his jeans and Link nudged his face against it before pulling at the denim covering Rhett’s thighs.

“Unzip, get these off.”

Rhett unzipped and lifted his hips as Link yanked down his jeans, pulling Rhett along too until he was nearly on his back, his cock resting heavy against his thigh, and his legs jutting out from the couch. Link left Rhett’s jeans bunched around his knees, and crawled over him to reach his cock.

Link grabbed the bottle again, taking another swig of limoncello, and then put his mouth on Rhett’s cock, sucking over him, his lips and tongue all sticky and cool from the alcohol. He tongued at the head of Rhett’s cock, licking into the slit until Rhett’s hips were jerking from the overstimulation.

“Link, it’s too much” Rhett groaned.

Link pulled away for a second, “you just taste so good.”

Link tongued at him one more time and curled his lips around the head of Rhett’s cock, and then he pulled back to take another swig of limoncello. He brought his lips together over Rhett’s dick and let some of the alcohol spurt from his mouth, trailing down over Rhett’s shaft, cool and sticky.

Then Link took him in again, sucking hungrily, tasting every inch of Rhett’s cock with his tongue. Rhett wanted to make it last but he couldn’t. Link’s slick, sticky mouth was too much and Rhett could feel his orgasm rushing up quickly.

“Link, I’m gonna come.”

“Yeah, do it,” Link pulled his mouth away for a second, licking down Rhett’s shaft, “you should come in my mouth.”

“Link,” Rhett breathed a final warning, and Link brought his mouth back up just in time to take him in, sucking over him sweet and sticky, swallowing down every shot of Rhett’s cum.

After a moment, Link moved up to settle in beside him, both of them still half-naked and Rhett’s jeans still around his knees. Link brought the bottle up to Rhett’s mouth and tipped it, giving him a little taste, and then Link brought it up to his own lips to take another sip.

Rhett sighed, “ahh my leeeemonchella.”

“Your leeemonchella,” Link echoed with a grin. “So good, my Rhett-ah.”

Rhett smiled quietly to himself, and then nearly choked when Link spoke again

“But I still wanna ride your beeseekletta.”


	4. Fancy Panties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Ear Biscuits #268 (Embarrassing Holiday Memories) when Link revealed he's owned a few pairs of "special sexy briefs" over the years. And also every GMM episode involving fancy panties.
> 
> Originally posted on tumblr.

Link went with the red ones.

Rhett had mentioned red during their conversation and Link wasn’t entirely sure if that’s what influenced him, he just knew that once he set his eyes on the red lace he wasn’t interested in considering any other colors. He was drawn to the red.

“These are really pretty,” the girl at the counter said as she folded them delicately and wrapped them in some soft tissue paper. “Are they for you or are they a gift?

“Oh uh,” Link said quietly, “for me.”

“I think they’re going to look really nice.”

Link smiled. “I hope so.”

A feeling of excitement thrummed through him as he carried the little bag into his office at the creative house and closed the door behind him. He set the bag on his desk and took out the little wrapped package inside. Link did his best to keep the tissue paper in tact as he slowly removed the tape and unwrapped the paper, revealing the panties. They were still folded nicely and Link reached for them, taking the fabric lightly between his fingers and thumbs and lifted them, unfolding them, holding them up to get a closer look.

They were more elegant than he remembered, the lace a deep red with fine ribbon ties along the sides. He tried to imagine how the lace would look against his hip bones and stretched out over his cock. He untied the ribbons, loosening them, hoping they wouldn’t pull and come unlaced when he put the panties on.

Link set them down quickly and yanked his shirt over his head. He toed off his shoes, pulled off his socks, and then unzipped his jeans and pushed them and his boxer briefs down in one swift motion, kicking both across the floor.

He stood naked in his office and he lifted the panties again, taking one more look at them before bending down and stepping into them. They slid easily over his legs and he pulled the lace up over his hips, smoothing it with his fingers and retying the delicate ribbons.

Then he stepped in front of the mirror behind his office door and took a look at himself.

The panties sat low on his hips and the red color looked beautiful against his skin as he skimmed his hands up his thighs, ghosting over the lace and across his taut stomach.

He could see his dick through the lace, curving upwards, already half-hard as he looked at himself. He was already straining against the lace and Link traced his fingertips along his shaft and down to his balls, enjoying the teasing feeling of the lace separating his cock from his own touch.

He turned around, looking back over his shoulder at his reflection, and he could hear his own voice in his head, telling Rhett ‘the cheeks weren’t out.’

They still weren’t out, not entirely, not like they would be in a thong. But the bottom of each cheek was visible, the soft rounded skin peeking out from under the lace as the panty line hit him in just the right spot.

Link knew he’d made the right choice. He looked good.

Rhett had said he wasn’t interested, but Link knew different. He knew the protest was all for show.

Rhett had seen him that way before, not in panties but in regular underwear, and Link knew what it did to him.

When they were in high school, undressing by the river, and Rhett’s eyes would be on him, watching him change, looking away shyly when Link would strip off his briefs.

When they were in college and they’d realized it was easier to just jerk off together rather than try to be secretive about it. When Rhett would openly stare as Link touched himself over his boxers and Link would wait for the inevitable moment when Rhett would whisper “can I help you pull them down?”

When they grew into proper adults and Link’s tastes switched to boxer briefs that hugged his body so nicely and Rhett could never resist slipping a hand down them or mouthing Link through the fabric.

But fancy panties were different. It was the one secret Rhett didn’t know about, and Link could hear the surprise in his voice as they recorded the podcast. They laughed about it and Rhett brushed it off, saying he wasn’t interested.

But really, Link knew he would be.

Link hadn’t told Rhett about the purchase he was planning when he’d mentioned meeting at the creative house, and it felt like perfect timing when he heard the front door open as he was standing in front of the mirror admiring himself.

“Link!” Rhett’s voice echoed through the house. “You here?”

“Yeah!” Link called back, and it seemed too loud for the situation he was in. It felt like everything should be slow, gentle, delicate. He opened the door and took his tone down a little, “I’m in my office.”

“What did you wanna– ” Rhett stopped as soon as he stepped through the door and caught sight of Link standing in nothing but little lace panties. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as his eyes travelled over Link’s body before settling on the red lace. “Oh. Fuck.”

“You like them?”

“Are they for me?”

“They’re for me,” Link laughed quietly, “but you can play with them.”

Rhett stepped closer, his hand reaching out timidly, “can I really?”

“Well, yeah,” Link ran his own hand over his dick again, tracing the lacy pattern. “Why’d you think I called you in here?”

“I just– ” Rhett’s voice trailed off as soon as his hand touched the lace, fingering softly over it.

He followed the pattern, tracing it over Link’s hip and across, ghosting over where Link’s cock pushed against the delicate lace.

“Man, you got a big dick,” Rhett breathed, touching it a little more forcefully as if he was testing the strength and support of the lace holding Link’s cock in place. “Does it hurt in there?”

Link laughed quietly, “nah, it feels good. Kinda tight.”

Rhett touched over Link’s cockhead teasingly as Link leaked through the lace.

“You’re gonna get these all dirty,” Rhett muttered, thumbing through the wetness.

Link didn’t reply because he knew Rhett was turned on and just talking for the sake of talking, spilling out every filthy little thought that came to his mind.

Rhett reached for the ribbon lacing and he tugged one hesitantly as if he was afraid he’d break it. The tie slowly unravelled and the ribbons trailed down Link’s thigh.

“Sorry,” Rhett whispered, reaching across to undo the other side.

“Wait,” Link reached a hand down, placing it gently over Rhett’s to stop him. “You haven’t seen the back yet.”

“Fuck,” Rhett groaned as Link turned around, showing off his backside.

Rhett’s hands settled on Link’s ass, cupping it for a moment, before his fingertips traced the pattern down to touch the smooth skin peeking out from under the lace.

“I’m gonna fuck you in these,” Rhett rambled as his fingers continued their exploration, “gonna lick your hole straight through them.

He slipped a finger under the panties, between Link’s legs, rubbing softly along he crease of his thigh. “I’m gonna get you all dirty.”

Link sighed at the feeling of Rhett’s fingers rubbing him under the lace, dry and soft, like the most gentle tease. His dick strained against the lace, still leaking.

“You should probably suck me first.”

From behind him, Link could hear Rhett chuckle as he slid his fingers out from under the fabric. He slowly turned Link around, his eyes still locked on the red lace, one finger touching over it as if he was afraid to lose contact with it.

And just as Link expected him to fall to his knees, Rhett grabbed him by the hips and lifted him, carrying him across the room and manhandling him up onto the desk. Rhett pushed the bag and tissue paper aside, letting it fall to the floor.

“What’re you– ” Link started, but Rhett shut him up with a kiss.

“I’m gonna suck you,” Rhett explained, “and then I’m gonna fuck you real good.”

“In my panties?” Link asked against his mouth, teasing because he already knew the answer, and he could feel Rhett’s groan vibrate through them both.

“Yeah, that’s right,” Rhett gave him one last bruising kiss. “Gonna suck your big dick and fuck you in your panties.”

Rhett pulled back to yank his shirt off and then kissed wetly down Link’s torso, licking over his nipples, leaving spit trails over his belly, not stopping for long in one spot as if he was anxious to get back to the panties.

Rhett licked against the lace, pressing his tongue to Link’s cockhead, tasting it, teasing the spot where the slit pushed hard against the meshy lace. Rhett’s beard made an almost audible sound as it scratched over the lace and tickled Link’s skin through it.

He trailed his tongue down Link’s shaft and tugged at the waistband of the panties, trying to ease them down, slowly, as if he was trying his best to be gentle with the lace and ribbons. Link tilted his hips as Rhett pulled at the lace and his cock slipped free, falling hard against his lower belly, red and wanting, and Link could almost see the intricate pattern imprinted on his dick from the lace pushing too hard against it.

Rhett seemed to notice it too and a low groan escaped him as he leaned down.

“Makes your dick look real pretty,” Rhett muttered as he slipped his mouth over Link’s cock.

He sucked him slowly, wrapping his tongue around Link’s cockhead and licking down his length.

“But it’s always pretty to me,” Rhett spoke around him.

Link just smiled as Rhett kept talking, sucking, teasing. Rhett’s fingers fiddled with the ribbons, tugging a little, unlacing them, easing the panties down Link’s slim hips as if Rhett was going too pull them right off. But he left them there, twisting his fingers around the ribbons and gripping Link’s hips, his fingers digging in as he lifted Link off the desk and forced him further down his own throat.

Link was aching and making little gasping sounds as he thrust up in Rhett’s grip, fucking into his mouth, until finally Rhett pulled off, swiping his hand across his beard. Then he reached for Link again and flipped him over, manhandling him, and Link’s feet slipped to the floor as Rhett eased him over the desk, running his hand down Link’s back and up over his ass, showing Link how he wanted it, his hips tilted up just right.

Rhett fumbled with the desk drawer, looking for lube, and after a second the drawer slammed shut. Link stayed in position as he heard the clink of Rhett’s belt buckle and the sound of his zipper, and a soft moan escaped Rhett’s mouth as he took his dick out. Link knew he’d be aching and already dripping.

“God, you look so good.”

Then Rhett’s hands were on him again, a finger sliding softly in and out of the fabric, teasing over Link’s ass cheeks and down, pressing against his taint as Link’s cock leaked onto the desk.

Link moaned as Rhett’s fingers were replaced by his tongue, and Rhett ran a slick line up Link’s crack, over the lace, and then touched the spot with his thumb, testing, pushing the lace in a little. Rhett tongued over him again, licking Link’s ass through the panties, teasing, wetting him, trying to reach Link’s hole.

“Can’t get you the way I want,” Rhett mumbled, and his big fingers pulled the panties aside a little, gently, and Link knew he was bare as the cool air of the room hit him.

It was only a second and then he was warm and wet as Rhett rubbed his hole and licked it, slipping his tongue in a little, tasting him, teasing.

Rhett was rambling against his skin, “golly, that’s a pretty little hole. I’m gonna fuck it so good.”

“Yeah, Rhett,” Link moaned under him, “fuck it.”

Rhett let out a hot breath against him, and then the sound of the lube cap echoed through the room as Rhett opened it and coated himself. He dripped a cool trail between Link’s cheeks, and then one strong hand held the panties aside and the other gripped Link’s hip as Rhett slipped his cock in, slow, so slow, easing him open. Link moaned against the desk, willing himself to relax and take it.

“Fuck, Link, you’re so tight,” Rhett groaned, pulling back and easing in again. “You feel so hot on my dick.”

Link tilted his hips a little, pulling another groan out of Rhett, and Rhett’s cock filled him and stretched him, fucking nice and slow until he was open and pliant.

As Rhett fell into a rhythm, his hand let go of the panties so they slipped back almost into place, and the lace slid along Rhett’s dick with each withdraw and thrust.

Rhett sped up a little and hit that spot within Link that only Rhett seemed to know how to reach, raking his cockhead over it until Link was almost boneless from the sensation, unable to do anything other than lay lax on the cool wood, moaning.

His dick swung heavy between his legs, still free from the panties, and Rhett reached around, his fingers catching in the ribbons as he took Link in hand and stroked him. The ribbons pulled and teased over his skin until Link was coming over Rhett’s fingers, coating the pretty red trim in cum.

Rhett kept stroking, his fingers still tangled in the slick ribbons, and he fucked harder into Link.

“I’m gonna– Fuck, I’m gonna go– ” Rhett grunted, “can I come on your panties?”

Link nodded against the desk, “yeah, do it, get 'em dirty.”

Rhett groaned and pulled out quickly, taking himself in his free hand and jerking over Link’s ass, shooting ropes of cum over the red lace. As he finished, he trailed his cockhead over Link’s cheeks, smearing cum across the panties that had slipped back to cover his hole, and Rhett pushed his dick against it before he went soft, trying to give Link a couple slow fucks right through the lace.

When they were both done and slick with sweat, Rhett eased Link off the desk and turned him around to get a look at him. The panties were askew, the red lace wet and streaked with cum, the ribbons tangled and damp.

“Got them real dirty..” Rhett said quietly.

“It’s okay,” Link shrugged, swiping hair off his forehead.

Rhett leaned in to kiss him, speaking against his lips. “We could always buy more.”

“Sure,” Link grinned.

Rhett twirled the ribbons lightly around his fingers. “They got other colors?”

“Yeah, think they had a whole rainbow of colors.

Rhett gave him a shy smile. “We should get the whole damn rainbow.”


	5. The Ball Bath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fanbabble sent me a link to the Testicuzzi website and suggested that it would be a great gift for Rhett to give to Link.. I can’t resist crack fic prompts so this the result.
> 
> Originally posted on Tumblr.

Having both families together at Christmas is a new thing, and there’s excitement in the air as everyone tears at their gifts. With kids and adults distracted unwrapping, Rhett leans over to slip a gift bag to Link. He’s got a mischievous grin on his face, and Link furrows his brow at him, smirks, and takes the gift from him.

Link reaches inside the bag and pulls out a square-shaped object wrapped in tissue paper. He carefully unwraps it and looks at it for a second. It appears to be a large ashtray so Link turns it around in his hand to get a better look at it. There are letters on one side.

Testicuzzi  
“What’s that, Dad?”

Link jumps a little, nearly dropping the testicuzzi. “What?”

“That.” From his spot on the floor, Lando points to the thing in Link’s hand. “What is it?”

“Oh it’s a– ” Link quickly slides his thumb over the lettering and holds it up for Lando to see, “it’s an ashtray.”

“For what?”

“Ashes.”

“But you don’t smoke.”

“That’s right, and you shouldn’t either.”

Link drops the testicuzzi back into the gift bag and crams it down between his thigh and the chair.

Lando gives him an odd look but doesn’t ask anything more and his attention turns back to his own gifts.

Link shoots a glance Rhett’s way and he finds Rhett smirking at him.

Later, when the kids are off in another room distracted by their new gifts, Link, Rhett, and Jessie finish tidying up the last bits of torn wrapping paper, ribbons, and bows. Christy is out in the kitchen checking on the turkey, and Link has the gift bag shoved under his arm, where it’s been since he left the chair he’d been sitting in.

There’s a twitter of laughter from behind him and then Jessie says “Link, you gonna test out your little hot tub?”

Link spins around to look at her, his eyes wide, “does everyone know about this thing?”

“Everyone but you, hun,” Jessie winks, “Rhett’s been itching to get his balls into it.”

“Hey,” Rhett says loudly from across the room, “please don’t say itchin’ and my balls in the same sentence.”

Jessie just laughs. “You two should go somewhere private and test it out.”

“Right now?”

Jessie waves them off. “Dinner’s already cooking, and Christy’s opening the wine. We don’t need you guys around right now. Go hop in the hot tub together.”

“I don’t think we’ll both fit,” Rhett interrupts. “You know I got big– ”

“Hush!” Jessie laughs, gesturing to the other room where the kids are. “We know, but they don’t want to know. I’m sure you two can make it work.”

Christy steps into the room holding two glasses of wine. She hands one to Jessie, and then looks over at Link who is still holding the bag under his arm. “What’re you up to?”

“He’s about to go test out his ball bath,” Jessie answers for him, and Christy laughs.

Link just stares at her. “You knew about this too?”

“It’s all Rhett’s been talkin’ about for weeks. I’m surprised he didn’t let it slip to you.” Christy gestures to the doorway. “You boys better hurry before supper’s ready.”

Rhett walks over and takes the bag from under Link’s arm and pulls him towards the door. “Come on, let’s go upstairs.”

“Ball bath!?” Christy’s laughter trickles into the hallway behind them as Jessie replies, “Sack soak?”

Link can still hear the girls laughing as he follows Rhett up the stairs.

“What in the world made you buy me this?” Link whispers as they walk.

“Well you like your bidet so much,” Rhett replies, looking back over his shoulder, “I thought you’d like a bath for your balls.”

It’s true, Link does love his bidet. So having a tiny bath for his testicles might be nice.

“Does it actually work?”

“I don’t know,” Rhett laughs, “but we’re gonna find out.”

They step into Link’s bedroom and Link shuts and locks the door behind them. He sets the bag on the bed and heads to the bathroom to fetch some towels. He can hear the clink of Rhett’s belt buckle and by the time he’s back with an armful of towels Rhett is already stripped naked.

“You in a hurry, brother?”

“Man, I’ve been waitin’ to test out this thing!” Rhett replies. “I already put batteries in it and everything! I was gonna try it at home but Jessie said it was your gift so I should wait for you.”

Link shoots him a hurt look, though he’s not really hurt over it. “You were gonna do it without me?”

“Just to test it! I was gonna do it with you too,” Rhett smiles, gesturing to his naked body, “and look, here I am.”

“Well, help me put these towels down and then we’ll get some water. I assume it needs water.”

“Yeah,” Rhett speads out a towel at their feet, “pretty sure that’s all it needs.”

“And balls.”

Rhett laughs. “And balls.”

They get the towels spread out and Rhett volunteers to fill the testicuzzi with water while Link undresses.

"Hot?" Rhett calls to him.

"Yeah, but not crazy hot. Don't wanna burn my boys"

He can hear Rhett chuckling to himself in the bathroom, "Your boys.."

Link strip off his clothes, not wanting to risk getting them wet, and he’s naked when Rhett returns. Rhett’s balancing the little hot tub carefully, trying not to spill any water on the floor.

"You can go first" Rhett offers, and Link smiles at him. It’s his gift, but he knows Rhett’s been waiting to try it, so its a nice gesture.

"You want me to hold it for you? Or you wanna..?" Rhett awkwardly offers him the testicuzzi, hesitating a bit as if he's trying to decide whether to put it in Link’s hand or hold it down near his balls.

"I'll hold it the first time," Link replies, taking the device from Rhett and switching it on.

The water starts to bubble immediately and the little hot tub emits a low hum and a bubbly sound as the water churns.

Link glances up at Rhett who is looking at him expectantly.

"You sure this is safe?"

"Yeah, man,” Rhett nods, “it's battery powered. It's not gonna zap you."

Link lowers the machine towards his groin.

"And you're shooting blanks anyway so.."

"Dude!"

"I'm joking! Well, not about the blanks.."

"Rhett, shut up!"

"Link, you're gonna be fine."

They just look at each other for a moment.

"You want me to go first?" Rhett offers.

"No," Link says, "I'm gonna do it. Just shut up."

He lowers the machine a bit further while trying to look down at it at the same time.

"So my balls go in there.. but where's my dick go?"

Rhett reaches out to tap the little silicone piece on the top. "Right there, like a little bench."

Link lifts his flaccid dick, pulling it up so he can maneuver his balls into the mini hot tub. He's hunched over a little awkwardly, his hips jutting out, and he's up on his tiptoes as if somehow that will help.

Rhett is standing right in front of him, watching closely, ready to lend a hand if Link needs it. He's watching with curiosity as Link lowers his sack into the bubbles.

"Oh.." Link says, almost unsure about it at first because his testicles feel like they’re floating in the swirling water. He rests his dick on the silicone and he’s surprised to find he’s already growing hard as the hot water licks and teases at his balls.

Rhett watches as his cock swells. "Does it feel good?"

"Yeah, it’s kinda moving them around in there," Link replies, trying to find the right words to describe it. "It feels nice."

Rhett laughs. "Just nice?"

"I mean, yeah, it's warm and wet and just.. nice."

He soaks in it for a few minutes, just enjoying the warm tickly feeling. Rhett watches, seemingly interested as he leans down to examine it and looks back up to check Link’s expression.

Eventually Rhett reaches down and grips his dick with one hand and cradles his balls in the other, as if he’s debating whether or not to step forward and shove them in alongside Link’s.

After staring for a bit longer, he tries it, pushing his balls against Link’s groin, trying to slip them into the water. But it’s clear there’s no way two sets of testicles will fit.

“I don’t think my balls are gonna fit in there with you,” Rhett finally says.

Link shakes his head. “Definitely not.”

Rhett lets go of his sack and stares, distracted, as he gives his half-hard dick a slow tug.

“Can I put my hand in?”

“Yeah.”

There’s not really room for his whole hand, but he eases a few fingers in and gently touches Link’s balls, cupping his sack as best he can and and running his fingers along it.

“Feels soft.”

“Yeah..” Link smiles, his voice trailing off, “it’s the water..”

His cock is full, resting on the silicone, but he’s long and the head of it is right off the bench. He drips a little from the end of it and Rhett is distracted by it as he eases his hand out of the hot tub.

“Is that just water, or..” Rhett thumbs at it and lets out an “ahh” when he realizes it’s slick.

He immediately drops to his knees and takes the tip of Link’s dick in his mouth.

“Oh god, Rhett..” Link watches him, enjoying the warmth of Rhett’s lips and tongue on him combined with the warmth of the churning water. “That feels good..”

He tips his head back, throwing himself off balance for a second and some water sloshes out of the testicuzzi.

“Careful,” Rhett says, his voice a low rumble, and Link knows Rhett isn’t really worried about the water. He’s likely more concerned that Link will get distracted by it and want to pause what they’re doing so he can clean it up.

But Link isn’t even thinking about the water, he can only focus on Rhett’s mouth on him and the ticklish warmth rushing around his balls. Rhett sucks him deeper, pulling his cock up off the silicone, and Link thrusts his hips forward, sloshing more water onto the floor.

“Gonna be empty,” Rhett grumbles as he licks over him.

“We can refill it,” Link gasps, reaching down to card his fingers through Rhett’s hair.

Rhett gives him another slow suck. “You wanna go like this?”

It takes a moment for Link to even realize what he’s talking about and he shakes his head, pulling his dick out of Rhett’s mouth. “You need a turn.”

Link is frantic with it suddenly, wanting to be fair, and wanting Rhett to see how it feels before they come. He eases his balls out of the water and they feel a little sensitive and soft after being in the bubbles for so long. The cool air hits them and they shrink up a little, pulling in closer to his body.

He grabs Rhett by the forearm, trying to ease him up off the floor. “I’m gonna refill it and you can go.”

“You sure?” Rhett stands, wrapping a hand around his cock and giving it another stroke, and Link realizes he’d been too distracted by the blowjob to notice Rhett was already hard.

“Yeah,” Link grins at him, “you’ve been waiting. You’re gonna love it.”

Link rushes into the bathroom, his own dick still hard between his legs, and he refills the device with hot water. Rhett’s standing in the same spot when he returns, holding his dick in one hand and his balls in the other. He looks excited as he waits to dip them, so Link just reaches over with the device and holds it still while Rhett eases his sack in.

Rhett immediately lets out a high pitched giggle. “Oh ho ho ho ho! Ohhhh!”

Link just grins up at him, holding the little hot tub in place. “You alright, brother?”

“It tickles so much!” Rhett’s eyes close and Link can see his body tense up. “It’s like tickle fingers for my balls!”

“You like it?”

“Man, I LOVE IT.”

“You want me to– ” Link gestures awkwardly, trying to figure out how he can make Rhett feel good while also holding the bubbling device in place. “I can– if you just hold– ”

“Okay, yeah,” Rhett regains his senses for just a moment, attempting to grab the testicuzzi, but he’s overcome with the tickle sensation again, “ohhhh hee hee ahhhhh oh ho ho! Oh god! Oh god it tickles!”

Rhett’s hand moves from the device up to Link’s shoulder and settles there, gripping tightly as if he’s using Link for balance.

“Dude.”

“Just hold it,” Rhett gasps, “hold it there. I might come just like this. I might.. Oh god, Link, it’s so tickly...”

Rhett’s stiff cock rests on the little silicone bench and Link watches as it strains and leaks.

“It really feels that good for you?”

“Man,” Rhett gasps, “you should know, you were leakin’ too. Ahhhh ha ha ohhhhh god!”

Link stares at him, wide-eyed, holding the bubbling device in one hand while Rhett loses his mind in the testicuzzi. With Rhett’s hand on his shoulder, Link is sort of stuck in one place and can’t bend down to suck him off. He could stroke him a bit, but Rhett seems more than happy with his current situation, so after a moment of consideration Link licks his fingertips and raises his free hand to slide a couple fingers over Rhett’s nipple, teasing.

“Oh fuck...” Rhett breathes, “yeah, do that, Link, do that, ohhh..”

Link skims his wet fingers over him, teasing one nipple and then the other, giving them each a soft slick pinch before licking his fingers and starting again.

Rhett’s eyes are closed, his head tipped back, and soft little ‘ahh haa haa ahhh’ sounds fall from his mouth as his balls bob around in the bubbling water, and his dick lifts and strains on the tiny silicone bench as Link slicks wetness over his nipples.

“I’m gonna come,’ he groans, “Fuck, Link, I’m gonna come.”

“You want me to– ”

“No, just keep– ahhh fuck..”

Rhett’s grip tightens on Link’s shoulder, and Link watches as Rhett’s dick pulses and shoots, untouched, spurting ropes of white cum onto the towels on the floor.

After a moment, Rhett eases his head up and gives Link a lazy blissed-out smile as he lifts his balls out of the testicuzzi. Their lack of time seems to dawn on him suddenly and he grabs for the device, motioning for Link to put his balls back in it. They’re in a hurry, because they know dinner will be ready soon, and Rhett is anxious to make Link come.

“Your turn! It’s your turn again.”

Link waves away the device “I don’t want that.”

“You don’t? What’d’ya want?”

Link grins. “Just your mouth.”

“Well that’s easy,” Rhett grins back at him and steps forward.

“Watch it!” Link warns. “You’re gonna step in jizz!”

Rhett bends down and grabs the offending towel, crumpling it up and firing it through the bathroom door. Then he kneels in front of Link and reaches for him, grabbing the back of one thigh and pulling him forward. “C’mere.”

Rhett takes Link in his mouth and Link sighs as he’s enveloped in soft wet heat.

As Rhett sucks, his hand comes up to touch Link’s balls, rubbing gently over them. Link can tell they’re still smooth and soft from their soak.

“Soft?” he asks, and Rhett hums confirmation against his dick.

Rhett slides his tongue down, licking over the smooth skin of Link’s balls. It’s different than the usual feel of it, better, and Link spreads his legs wider, planting his feet as he slips his fingers into Rhett’s hair.

Rhett licks over him, and Link’s legs are trembling as Rhett sucks on the tip of his dick and fingers over his balls, slick and wet and smooth and soft, teasing the water-soaked sensitive skin there.

Link sighs, “feels so good.. so soft..”

The words seem to push Rhett on, and he’s sucking Link down, taking him as far as he can as he strokes and teases his balls. Link can feel his climax coming, starting right where Rhett’s fingers touch him and rushing through his sack and straight up his dick.

“Rhett..” he manages to choke out, and Link can only grip Rhett’s hair as he comes.

Rhett’s hands move to grab Link’s thighs and he pulls him as close as he can, burying his face in Link’s groin as Link’s dick pulses in his mouth and shoots wet heat down his throat.

There’s a soft knock at the door, and Link quickly pulls his spent dick out of Rhett’s mouth.

Jessie’s voice echoes from the other side, “Dinner’s almost on the table. You boys better get dry and get downstairs.”

“Almost done,” they reply in unison, and they can hear her laugh as she heads back downstairs.

Link leans over to cup Rhett’s chin and kiss him.

“Maybe you should take that thing home with you. I think you like it more than I do.”

Rhett gives him a mild look of disappointment. “You don’t like it?”

“Dude, I like it.. But you came all over my floor and we didn’t even touch your dick.”

“Okay, true.” Rhett smiles and gestures to Link’s groin. “But it made your balls nice and soft.”

“It did,” Link laughs. “So maybe I’ll come to your place and use it sometimes.”

“Deal.”

They quickly wash up and redress, and Link shoves the testicuzzi back in the bag before tucking it under Rhett’s arm. They give each other a quick kiss and then they head downstairs for Christmas dinner.

“Great ashtray,” Rhett says loudly as they walk down the stairs to rejoin the rest of the house.

Link laughs, “shut up.”


	6. The Dominant Gorilla

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Rhett's constant talk about gorillas using their erections to show dominance.  
> Also inspired by their wrestling matches in their college dorm room.
> 
> Originally posted on Tumblr.

Rhett’s been annoying Link all day. Teasing him. Picking at him. It’s nothing vicious, but it’s enough to make Link a little mad.

Rhett likes when Link gets worked up about stuff, and he especially likes it when he’s the one who’s got him worked up. Link’s skin gets flushed and his eyes go a little dark and something about it drives Rhett crazy.

He knows he’s been obnoxiously annoying all day, but he can’t make himself stop. It’s like he’s got himself worked up over it and he just needs to do it a little more. Press a little harder. Make Link snap.

They’re in their boxers before bed, and Link is really not in the mood for any of Rhett’s shit. He’s been ignoring him for the past hour because Rhett’s been irritating him all day and he’s had it up to _here_ with Rhett’s crap. He just wants to go to bed and he wants Rhett to shut up.

But Rhett’s still acting tough, hovering around Link’s bunk, moving back and forth on his heels like he’s some kind of quick-footed fighter.

“Come on, let me show you!” Rhett punches himself in the chest with his fists. “I’m the dominant gorilla!”

It’s something Rhett’s mentioned before and Link’s come to think of it as the ‘gorilla defense’. When they’re wrestling or fighting, or Rhett’s on top of him pretending to be dead, and Link can feel him, hard against his leg, his back, his butt, one time on his stomach. And Rhett laughs it off as a natural thing. He says he’s just showing his dominance, like a gorilla does. He says it’s a biological thing, that’s all.

Link watches him punch his chest again.

“I’m the dominant one!”

“You’re the stupid one,” Link grumbles, trying to ignore him.

“You’re just angry ‘cause you’re weaker.”

Rhett doesn’t really mean it. He knows Link can hold his own, but he loves to say it. Loves to see the frustration creep across his face. He knows when the anger starts to take over and Link is about ready to burst.

“Not everyone can be as tall and strong and good looking as me.”

He watches with quiet glee as Link sighs and sets his text book aside and makes the move to shift from the bed, slowly, like he’s hoping to catch Rhett off guard.

“Okay, idiot,” Link says as he moves, “let’s go.”

He charges at Rhett, but Rhett’s ready for it and grabs him, flips him, and they’re down on the floor.

Link’s managed to catch himself on his hands and knees, so it gives him a bit of leverage to move.

Rhett’s over him, holding him, his arms locked around Link’s torso, his cheek against the back of Link’s neck. Link can hear him breathing, fast and harsh, a little chuckle escaping him as he waits to see what Link’s going to do next.

“Come on, little monkey,” Rhett says quietly, and Link surges, pushing back against Rhett and trying to flip him sideways, hoping he can at least knock Rhett on his side and catch him off guard.

But Rhett somehow saves himself from going down, using his knee to keep himself upright, and his arms go tighter around Link’s body, keeping him in place.

Link can feel him already, his cock pressing hard into Link’s lower back, the thin boxers not masking a thing.

“I’m the dominant one,” Rhett says, because he knows Link can feel him.

His dick aches in his boxers, and it takes everything in him not to rub himself against Link. It’s a match between them. A fight. He’s like a gorilla. He tries to ignore everything else, every other impulse within him that makes him want to just rut against Link until he cums.

Link pushes again, trying to move Rhett, but he’s unsuccessful. Rhett’s planted himself somehow, and he’s got Link trapped under him. So Link tries another tactic, turning, shifting, squirming in Rhett’s grasp, and Rhett fights him – tries to hold onto him and keep him in place. But Link’s too fast, too agile, and he’s managed to turn himself over so he’s face to face with Rhett. With his own hands leaving the floor, the weight of him pulls Rhett down, and they go together.

Rhett’s distracted suddenly. Link’s under him, pulling him down, and he loses his sharpness for a second, doesn’t notice Link’s legs moving and wrapping around him. He can feel Link’s ankles hook behind him, and he knows he’s trapped.

So he pushes his hips into Link’s. If he’s trapped he’s going to at least show Link who’s boss. His cock presses into Link’s groin through his boxers, and there’s no denying he’s hard.

“You feel that, little monkey? I’m the dominant one.”

He knows the name gets under Link’s skin and he uses it again as a last resort, hoping it’ll make Link give in and let go. Rhett’s ready to stop. He wants to stand up and gloat a little and then slip off to the showers to jerk himself until he cums. That’s how this usually goes. Link caves. Rhett rises, red-faced and triumphant, and then he disappears. Link never questions where he goes, and if he already knows he never mentions it.

But Link’s not caving. He’s just looking at Rhett instead, his eyes dark. The frustrated look is gone and it’s been replaced with something else. Something mischievous.

Rhett’s arms are still around him, his hands stupidly trapped under Link, and Link’s own arms come up to grab Rhett around the shoulders, holding him there, trapping him further. Rhett waits, wondering what Link’s going to do, and Link seems content to just let him wait. Let him sit there with his dick hard in his boxers, suffering, wanting to rut so bad he wants to cry out with it.

Finally he can’t take it any longer and he chokes out, “What’re you doing?”

Link ignores the question. He just holds onto him, grinning. “You gonna call me a monkey again?”

Rhett huffs out a laugh, and his brain tells him to say no but his stupid mouth opens and says, “Yeah.”

“Really?”

Rhett silently curses his inability to concede defeat.

“Yeah, monkey.”

Suddenly Link is moving, holding onto Rhett’s neck and wriggling in his arms, rutting up against him.

Link pushes his hips up into Rhett’s, making Rhett feel him, showing him he’s not the only one with a hard dick. He can hear Rhett gasp when he feels it, he sees the look on Rhett’s face when it registers.

Link slides against him, his cock leaking wet onto his boxers, and he stares directly at Rhett.

“So what happens when both gorillas get hard?”

Rhett’s mouth opens but he says nothing, like he’s been struck speechless, and Link presses against him again, rutting fast, showing him just how hard he is.

“Thought you were the dominant one,” Link says, wriggling his hips under Rhett’s. “You got nothin’ to say?”

Rhett makes a needy sound and thrusts his hips, and Link grins and meets his thrusts, grinding their dicks together.

“Looks like I’m the dominant one now.”

Rhett can’t speak. It’s like his brain’s shut off and he can only focus on Link, and the fact that Link is hard too, and he’s sure any second he’s going to cum in his shorts. Link’s moving and squirming and his body feels so good under him, lithe, strong, sweaty, and Rhett pushes his hips into him, and his cock slides slick against the cotton fabric of his boxers. It’s so much. Too much. He knows he’s going to cum.

“Come on, gorilla,” Link pants out, “you’re always so hard. Show me what your dick does.”

Rhett can’t stop himself and he spurts in his shorts, his cum leaking wet through the thin fabric as he keeps rutting, and with hardly anything between them he knows Link must feel it.

Link gasps as the warmth seeps into his boxers, and he holds tight to Rhett’s neck as he cums too, grinding up into Rhett, his cock slipping along Rhett’s, which is still pressed hard against the damp fabric.

As Link’s breathing evens out he loosens his grip on Rhett’s neck, and Rhett manages to slide his arms out from under Link.

“Next time you wanna do that,” Link says, “you don’t have to annoy me all day first.”

Rhett nods. “Okay.”

“And dude, you gotta shut up about the gorillas.”

“Alright,” Rhett agrees, but then he pauses, trying to decide whether or not to ask the question he really wants to ask.

Link must sense it. “What?”

“Can I still call you monkey?”

Link laughs, but he doesn’t say no. He looks like he’s considering it.

“Okay,” Link says, “you can call me monkey if you admit I’m the dominant one.”

Rhett makes a sound of protest. He’s not sure his ego will allow it.

They look at each other for a moment and then Rhett sighs. “Can we agree on sometimes?”

“Sometimes I’m the dominant one?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, then sometimes you can call me monkey.”

“Deal.”

Normally they’d shake on it, but their position doesn’t really allow for it.

“You wanna head to the showers?” Link asks, and Rhett gives him a look of surprise.

“How’d you know– ”

“Man, you really think you’re slick, huh?” Link laughs. “I know that’s where you go every time we’re done wrestling.”

Rhett just chuckles and nods because there’s no point denying it. “You wanna come with me this time?”

“Yeah, maybe I can dominate you in there or something.”

Rhett grins. “Alright, little monkey, let’s go.”


	7. The P-word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by GMMore #1913 when they're dipping their hands in hot wax and Link wants Rhett to stop talking about penises.
> 
> Originally posted on Tumblr.

Rhett walks into the office and takes a seat at his desk, turning his chair around to face Link’s side of the room.

“You wanna talk about penises?”

Link spins around to face him. “What?”

“Penises. You wanna talk about them?”

“Shut up, man.”

“I’m just sayin’,” Rhett grins, “you get all worked up when I mention penises. Maybe talkin’ about penises would help.”

“Stop sayin’ penises.”

“I could talk about mine.”

“I’m not interested.”

“You’ve seen it anyway, it’s no big deal.”

“No thanks.”

“Have I ever told you how hard it gets on set sometimes?”

“Dude, shut up.”

“I’m serious! Dippin’ my hand in hot wax? Hard. Pullin’ hairs out of my armpits? Hard. Hiding in the orange privacy tunnel with you? Hard.

“In the tunnel?? Why?”

“I dunno.. Felt like somethin’ we shouldn’t be doin’, like somethin’ naughty.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Nah, man, I was so hard after that. Why do you think I was crouchin’ down?”

“So you didn’t block the shot of the tunnel?”

“Nope. The tunnel was already on the floor anyway.”

“Why are we talkin’ about this?”

Rhett smirks and shrugs. “Got off track. We’re talking about penises, remember?”

“ _You’re_ talking about penises. I’m just trapped here.”

“You’re not trapped.”

“Well I’m tryin’ to work and you’re..” Link gestures to him, waving his hand around vaguely, “doing whatever it is you’re doing.”

“I’m just talkin’.” Rhett slides down a little in his chair, stretching his legs out, and moves a hand to rest on his thigh – a little too close to his dick. “Just havin’ a conversation. Thought it might help you.”

“We’re not having a conversation, and I don’t need any help.”

“Alright.”

Link spins his chair so he’s facing his desk again. “I have work to do.”

“No problem. I’ll just talk to myself then I guess.”

“Whatever.”

“That wax felt good this mornin’,” Rhett starts, and Link sighs loudly and shakes his head. “Would’a liked to stick my _penis_ in it.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Might buy one and try it at home.”

“You’ll burn your dick off.”

“Hey, I thought you weren’t part of this conversation.”

“I’m not, but– ” Link starts, then stops.

“Man, just thinkin’ about it..” Rhett continues, palming himself a little through his jeans. “It’d be so warm on my _penis_.. You think it’d be warm?”

“I haven’t thought about it.”

“Maybe you should..”

Link doesn’t respond, so Rhett continues.

“Anything warm like that gets me so hard.. Warm and wet. Man, I’m gettin’ hard just thinkin’ about it.”

“No you’re not.”

“You’re right, I’m lyin’,” Rhett says, popping the button on his jeans and easing the zipper down. “I’m already hard.”

“Rhett..”

“You wanna see me take my dick out?” Rhett asks, and he’s given up saying penis.

Link shakes his head, barely, but doesn’t respond.

“Too bad, I think you might like it.” Rhett slips his hand in his jeans, down into his boxer briefs, and grasps himself. “Oh man, feels like I’m burning over here. My dick is so hot in these shorts.. Gotta give it some air.”

Rhett eases himself out, groaning as the cool air of the office hits his cock.

“Fuck, feels so good.. Nice and cool.. You wanna take yours out? We could do it together.”

Link’s voice is quiet when he answers, a little wavery, “No.”

“That’s fine, whatever you want, man. I’ll just entertain myself over here.” Rhett runs a hand up his shaft. “Damn, it’s dry.. wish I had that wax machine, or a mouth or somethin’.”

Rhett spits into his free hand, and smears it over his cock. The sound it makes is audible.

“You hear that? Fuck, it’s wet.” Rhett spits again and runs his hand over himself, up the shaft, and palms over the head of his dick. “When I rub on the head? God, feels so good.. You ever do that? Just rub it slick? I leak so much when I do that.. just drippin’ all over.”

“Jesus, Rhett.”

“Can’t help it, man. Just feels so good.” He moves his hand down and touches his shaft again, running his fingertips over the veins there, tracing them. “You ever look at the veins on your dick?”

“No.”

“Come on, I bet you do.” Rhett traces over his again. “I got a big one, just under the head, runs all the way down. Somebody could just, like, trace it with their tongue, follow it like a little road.”

“A road?”

“Yeah, a road to my balls.”

“Dummy..” Link mutters.

“Cold in here..” Rhett continues, ignoring him. “Feels like there should be steam comin’ off my dick, it’s so hot. I’m just gonna stroke it a bit, you don’t mind, do ya? I just.. fuck.. gotta touch it a little.”

Rhett strokes, easy, up his length, over the head, and back down, talking as he does it.

“I got, like, a rhythm,” he explains as he touches himself. “I always do it this way, up, over, down, and then again, and fuck, every time I touch my head it makes me jump a little. It’s got that soft little slit.. you ever tease it? Fuck, I do it all the time.. Just a.. little touch.. and.. god, just like that..”

There’s a creak as Link leans back in his chair. “Rhett..”

“I’m just talkin’, man.. just tellin’ you about my dick,” Rhett sighs as he stares at the back of Link’s head. “That slit, you know what I mean, always leakin’.. I’d just love a tongue on it or something.. teasin’ me, just lickin’ it a bit..”

Link moves then, suddenly, and Rhett jolts in surprise. Link gets up from his chair, turns around, and stands in front of him, staring down.

Rhett’s hand remains firmly clasped over his cock as he meets Link’s gaze.

“You wanna talk about it?” Rhett smirks.

“Fuck, Rhett, shut up.”

As Rhett opens his mouth to speak again, Link drops to his knees and smacks his hand off his cock.

“C’mere dummy,” he mutters, and Rhett gasps as Link’s mouth sinks over him.

He takes him in, straight down, and Rhett is briefly shocked that Link isn’t gagging. Then Link pulls back and moves a hand to Rhett’s shaft, holding it while he teases over the head with his mouth.

“You wanna talk about your dick?” Link asks as he sucks him, easing back for a second and licking over the tip of Rhett’s dick, “you want this little hole licked?”

Rhett’s hips buck as Link slides his tongue against his slit. “Ah fuck.”

“I can do it all you want,” Link says, pressing his tongue in. “I can just do this, just this, until you jizz all over yourself.”

“Gosh, Link,” Rhett sighs, and his hand is in Link’s hair now, pulling slightly, easing him back, not sure if he wants him off or all the way on again. “Can you.. aww fuck, can you suck me?”

Link pulls his mouth away to look at him. “That what you want?”

“Yeah,” Rhett groans, rutting, trying to fuck into Link’s palm. “Oh god, I’m so hard..”

“I know,” Link replies, and he leans in to give him a quick suck before moving back again. “You won’t stop tellin’ me.”

“Link, please..”

“Alright,” Link smirks, “but you gotta start shuttin’ up when I ask you to.”

“I’ll try,” Rhett laughs, closing his eyes and thrusting his hips forward as if he can somehow get them high enough to get his cock back in Link’s mouth. “I swear, I’ll shut up next time.”

“And we’re not gonna talk about penises.”

“Okay.”

“Call it your dick, or your cock, or your dong, or whatever,” Link smirks. “I just hate the p-word.”

Rhett laughs, “What?”

“It’s a stupid word.”

“The word is the problem??”

“Yeah, now listen, we gonna keep talkin’ about this or you want me to suck your dick?”

“Dick, please,” Rhett grins.

Link leans forward, taking him in again, and Rhett is struck silent as Link sucks him, wet mouth sliding over him, teasing his head, and Rhett’s hips jerk every time Link slips his tongue into his slit.

He nearly shouts when Link pulls his mouth away, but he manages to bite his tongue, and he watches as Link licks down his length – tracing the stupid vein down to his balls.

“Followin’ the road,” Link says quietly, and he sucks Rhett’s balls into his mouth, one at at time, leaving them smooth and wet and slick as he trails his tongue back up the vein and takes Rhett’s cock in his mouth again.

Rhett grunts and gasps and tries his best not to speak as Link sucks him, afraid he’ll say something stupid and make him stop, and he manages it until Link murmurs against his dick, “You gonna come for me?”

And Rhett is groaning “Yeah, aww, fuck,” and spilling in Link’s mouth, spurting wet heat across his tongue, and Link takes it, swallowing it down and giving Rhett one last hard lick against his slit, as if to remind him for next time.

Then Link sits back and looks up at him.

“We gonna talk about my dick now?”

Rhett gasps out a “YES” and he’s pulling Link up off the floor, fingers fiddling with his zipper, his mouth already open and ready.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm lallyloo on tumblr. I mostly post Rhink stuff and I sometimes post fic.


End file.
